Transcript: 2x02 65 Million Years Off

[jpgr]

1987

INT. SCHOOL HALL, DAY

We see GUS walking down the hall wearing a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex head. A couple of girls run up trying to figure out who is inside.

GIRL:
Who’s on there?

GIRL 2:
What is it?

GIRL 3:
Oh, cool!

GUS:
Please don't touch it. Excuse me.

INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM, DAY

As GUS walks into the classroom, we see a banner proclaiming it “Stone Age Day”. Through the mouth (GUS’ POV) we see SHAWN run up.

SHAWN:
Gus, Gus, Gus!

GUS:
Where's your project, Shawn? Did you even do it?

SHAWN:
My project? Of course I did it.

GUS:
Uh-huh, when?

SHAWN:
When? Last night. It's right here.

SHAWN holds up a toy T-Rex glued to a remote-control car.

GUS:
This head is to exact scale. It took me three months to make it. Yours took five minutes.

SHAWN:
No, Gus, you're totally wrong. It took me a whole hour. Check this out.

SHAWN sets the car on the floor and races it past the amazed children until it runs into the teacher’s shoe. She picks it up and gives the OK sign as the kids applaud.

GUS:
I hate you, Shawn.

PRESENT DAY

INT. SBPD, INTERROGATION ROOM, DAY

LASSITER is sitting across from a suspect, just staring at him. The MAN fidgets nervously. LASSITER finally speaks.

LASSITER:
Lompoc.

MAN:
Okay, I did it.

LASSITER looks smugly at the observation room.

INT. SBPD, OBSERVATION ROOM, DAY

Inside the room, a crowd cheers and applauds.

JULIET:
That's seven in row.

BUZZ:
Eight. The gas station guy confessed last week!

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

LASSITER is being “modest” when accepting praise from his peers. BUZZ adds the latest case to a large dry-erase board keeping track of the cases.

LASSITER:
Oh, I wouldn't call myself a hero. I'm just doing my job just like all of you. Hey, that's enough goofing off. Let's get back to work, huh? You too.

BUZZ:
Ladies and gentlemen, Detective Lassiter!

BUZZ starts another round of applause.

LASSITER:
Oh, stop it!

The police move away from the board and we see SHAWN leaning against the wall in the archway. He is not happy with the attention LASSITER is getting. JULIET comes up the stairs and SHAWN sees her and walks over.

SHAWN:
Jules!

JULIET:
Shawn.

SHAWN:
Is there a problem?

JULIET:
With what?

SHAWN:
With you. With me. With the Chief. She hasn't called in a month. Is she still mad about me requisitioning the Segway?

JULIET:
You did that?

SHAWN:
No.

JULIET:
Well, I don't really have time right now, but the short answer is we just haven't really needed any outside help.

JULIET walks down the hall to the bullpen and SHAWN follows.

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

JULIET stands behind her desk while SHAWN stands in front.

SHAWN:
Well, what's the long answer? I mean, throw a "but" in there and add something about a dream where you and I got thrown out of a mattress showroom.

JULIET:
Detective Lassiter is literally on fire.

SHAWN:
What kind of fire are we talking about? Michael-Jackson-in the-Pepsi-commercial fire or misusing-the-word-"literally" fire?

JULIET:
He's-solved-eight-cases-in-a-row fire.

BUZZ:
Nine. I just remembered the DeShano case. (walks over) Hey, Shawn. What's new? You still doing the psychic thing? (leaves)

SHAWN:
Is this some sort of weird dream?

JULIET:
On the last two cases, the first suspect Lassiter questioned confessed. It's really magnificent.

SHAWN:
We are talking about Carlton Lassiter, right? Yea high? Bats ninth for the department softball team?

JULIET:
Tenth. We play with a rover.

LASSITER strides over.

LASSITER:
Spencer, long time, no see. Or is that “no need”?

SHAWN:
I can't believe this.

LASSITER:
Oh, believe it. It's real.

BUZZ walks up behind LASSITER.

BUZZ:
They've done a preliminary on the body down at the marina, Detective. They're ready for you at the scene.

LASSITER:
Well, I would love to stay and chat, but duty does call. Oh, Spencer, you look so sad. Come on, we'll show you how real cops do it.

LASSITER walks away and JULIET makes to follow after picking up some files. She stops and turns to SHAWN.

JULIET:
No comeback? Shawn, that's slightly embarrassing. (walks away)

SHAWN:
Where'd you get that... suit? The toilet store?

EXT. MARINA, DAY

SHAWN walks down onto the beach to stand behind LASSITER, JULIET and VICK as they look at the body under the pier. He notices the victim is wearing work boots.

VICK:
Good luck with this one, Detective. There's no identification. Nobody's been reported missing fitting this description. (sees SHAWN) Oh, Mr. Spencer. I'm surprised you didn't take the Segway.

SHAWN:
(softly to JULIET) She did know about that.

VICK:
O'Hara just told me.

SHAWN:
Traitor.

VICK:
I'll deal with you later.

The detectives duck under the police tape. SHAWN takes LASSITER’S notes before the man leaves. GUS joins him as he reads the notes. There is a possible animal bite with a 34-inch radius.

GUS:
So what's the new case we've got?

SHAWN:
A slight error in grammar there, buddy.

GUS:
Which part?

SHAWN:
"Got”.

Under the dock, LASSITER realizes his notes are missing and sees them in SHAWN’S hands.

GUS:
I came all the way down from the office, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Gus, don't be a giant snapping turtle. We'll have a case in five minutes.

LASSITER walks over and snatches his notes out of SHAWN’S hands. SHAWN and GUS duck under the tape and follow him over to the body.

VICK:
Nobody can explain these puncture wounds. We can't rule out an animal attack.

SHAWN sees the bite marks across the torso.

LASSITER:
No. No, there's nothing in these waters with a bite radius that large. No, this is maybe a boating accident. The wounds caused by some machinery. I can't really be sure at this juncture.

SHAWN:
Completely stumped. Hmm.

VICK:
You getting something, Mr. Spencer?

SHAWN:
Yes. Yes, I am. (takes a pad and pen from LASSITER and starts drawing)

LASSITER:
No, no, no! No, hold on. Okay, I've got it. The wound on the head was caused by the edge of a boat when he fell in the water unconscious. And the wounds on the back, they were caused by a large industrial crab trap. (motions the trap closing with his hands) Or a whale. It definitely could've been a whale. I mean, lost from his pod, separated, migrating north or south, and sees our man dead, already floating up above the surface. Thinks it's a seal and then... (motions a bite with his hands) whale.

JULIET has been writing notes as LASSITER was speaking.

GUS:
A whale?

JULIET:
What's your guy got?

GUS:
Watch and learn, Jules. Watch and learn.

LASSITER:
Or...

VICK:
Detective, if you don't mind, I'd like to see what Mr. Spencer has to offer.

SHAWN:
All right, look, this is gonna be a little rough, okay? I didn't have time for shading, there's no forced perspective. If I had really had my druthers, I would've done it in charcoal. (points to GUS) You know what I'm talking about. Look, what I'm trying to say is, I'm not the artist I'd like to be...

VICK:
Okay, Mr. Spencer, enough. Can you or can you not tell us who's responsible for this man's death?

SHAWN:
If I can present you with a semi-accurate sketch of the culprit, is that enough to get us on this case?

VICK:
Yes.

SHAWN:
All right. The puncture wounds. They're the key. Giving me the impression that this crime could only have been committed... (flips the pad over and shows VICK and LASSITER) by this guy. (shows GUS and JULIET) This guy here.

We see he has drawn the head of a T-Rex. Everyone looks at him, disbelieving. LASSITER smiles and puts on his sunglasses before taking back his pen and paper.

LASSITER:
Excuse me. (leaves)

SHAWN:
What? (VICK and JULIET leave) Chief, where are you off to? So what, that's a no? (GUS leaves) Gus! (looks down at body) This is not a boating accident.

**************************************************************************
PSYCH

“65 Million Years Off”
By
Steve Franks

STARRING:
James Roday
Dulé Hill
Timothy Omundson
Maggie Lawson
And
Corbin Bernsen

DIRECTOR
Tim Matheson

**********************************************************************

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN follows GUS inside.

SHAWN:
You're mad.

GUS:
No, I'm not mad. I'm happy. I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.

SHAWN:
Well, that explains your shoes.

They go to their respective desks. SHAWN pulls out a storage box and begins to go through it.

GUS:
You almost closed down our agency with that little act of yours, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Me? You're the one spending all your extra time at your little "side project”.

GUS:
(walks over in front of SHAWN’S desk) You mean my real job? Soon to be my only job?

SHAWN:
Gus, you're panicking. Don't panic. Those bite marks are consistent with a tyrannosaurus bite.

GUS:
You know that.

SHAWN:
Yes, I know that. The hard way. (shows GUS a photo of himself in the mouth of a T-Rex reconstruction) I was canned from the Wyoming Natural History Museum for that little shot. The bruises from the teeth didn't go away for a year, but totally worth it. It was my best screensaver ever. (GUS throws the photo back at him and walks to his desk) Gus, please, connecting a dinosaur to this case is the least of our worries. Look, I can I stash a toy dinosaur in the window of the killer. I can link him to a box of Dino Bites or Fruity Pebbles. I can play Six Degrees of Dinosaur with you right now. You've never been in a movie with Kevin Bacon or a Dilaposaurus, have you?

GUS:
How about you play Six Degrees of Kiss My Ass?

SHAWN:
First of all, that sounds like a totally disturbing game. What's weird is that my guess on the jaw radius was actually spot on. It almost seems to make sense. (sits)

GUS:
So now you're getting on board with your own joke theory? How are you gonna match your bite radius to the victim, Shawn? Drag the body to the Wyoming museum?

SHAWN:
Hmm. (stands) I can do you one better.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
I need to borrow my dad's truck. (stops at the door) You coming or what? (the squeaky frog lands on his head) That's clearly a no.

INT. MORGUE, EXAM ROOM, DAY

The CORONER is speaking with VICK, LASSITER and JULIET. JULIET is taking notes.

CORONER:
The one thing we can be sure of is the cause of death was not drowning. Blunt force trauma to the head was severe enough to knock him unconscious. More than likely he fell from some sort of a platform after knocking himself on the head.

JULIET:
And this is how he ended up in the water?

CORONER:
No, he landed on something hard. Dislocated a rib. He has bruises consistent with a six, seven, or eight-foot fall. My guess is that he landed on something else and ultimately expired before tumbling into the water.

LASSITER:
You know, this might be a leap, but why don’t we check the offshore oil rigs? See if any of them are missing workers.

JULIET sees something outside the room, but answers LASSITER.

JULIET:
I'll make some calls.

Through the windows of the doors, we see GUS’ dinosaur head making its way down the hall. The others have their backs to it and don’t see.

VICK:
Interesting, Detective.

LASSITER:
Thanks, Chief. This theory feels good. Just makes sense. The work boots, the odd configuration of the wounds. You know us, Ted. It's worth a shot, right? We don't go out on limbs too often...

Two officers open the doors.

SHAWN:
Thanks, guys. I just need to measure something. (opens the mouth) Oh, good! You're all here. Get ready to be shocked. Can we get the sheet off the dead guy, please? Confirming the bite radius...

SHAWN’S POV through the T-Rex mouth as he walks forward. VICK holds her hand out in front of him.

VICK:
No! Mr. Spencer. (takes hold of the head)

SHAWN:
Whoa, hey, hey, be careful. This isn't mine.

VICK:
Mr. Spencer, your antics have always been a little, let's say, unorthodox. But let me be as frank as I can be with my assessment of your most recent behavior. Seek help.

SHAWN:
Chief, sometimes you have to jump off a cliff. You have to close your eyes. You have to unhook your clip "chasses"... Chassis? Climbing thing. And you have to leap. Now I ask you, Chief, will you leap with me?

VICK:
Are you thinking about jumping off a cliff?

SHAWN:
Maybe.

SHAWN snaps the model mouth closed and exits as the officers hold the doors open.

INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM, DAY

SHAWN opens the door and knocks.

SHAWN:
Yo! Dad? (closes the door and crosses the room) I've brought the keys back. Hello!

INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, KITCHEN, DAY

SHAWN walks into the kitchen to see HENRY and GUS. GUS is sitting at the table eating a cupcake.

SHAWN:
Okay, this is creepy. Why is Gus here?

HENRY:
Why do you think, Shawn?

SHAWN:
He's a hostage.

A MAN in a suit walks over from the sink area.

MAN:
Perhaps I can shed some light on that.

SHAWN:
Two hostages.

HENRY:
Doug Devette is an old colleague of mine from the force. The Chief asked me to have him drop by.

SHAWN:
(tosses the keys on the table) Why?

HENRY:
Doug is the department psychologist, Shawn.

SHAWN:
What is this, some sort of intervention?

HENRY:
Yeah, sort of.

DOUG:
We don't like to use the term "intervention," Shawn.

SHAWN:
(looks at GUS) Gus?

GUS:
Don't look at me. I'm here for the cupcakes.

SHAWN:
Dad, I am not on drugs.

DOUG:
Oh, nobody thinks that, Shawn.

HENRY:
Well, I'm not completely sure about that, Doug.

DOUG:
We're all just a little concerned that you might be stretching yourself a bit too thin.

HENRY:
It wasn't my idea, but he's right, Shawn. You're acting like a nut job.

SHAWN:
Just because I take Gus' giant dinosaur head down to a dead body does not make me a nut job.

GUS:
What? (gets up and looks out the window to see the head in the back of HENRY’S truck) You took my T-Rex? My mom gave it to you?

SHAWN:
Gladly. She also gave me some pictures you can pay me to not show your next girlfriend.

GUS:
What pictures?

SHAWN:
The ones that document your Terence Trent D'Arby phase.

GUS:
Whatever, Shawn. You took Danny Dino to the police station?

SHAWN:
No. Gus, give me some credit. I took him to the morgue. Good news. Your specifications were spot on.

GUS glares at SHAWN before sitting back at the table to finish his cupcake.

DOUG:
Your father tells me you have delusions of magical powers.

SHAWN:
Delusions? Really? Doug, I'm employed as a psychic. I've solved 18 cases this year. I have business cards and a personalized coffee mug that backs up the whole thing. I feel things about people. (sees DOUG is wearing different colored socks) You, for instance, are color blind. That's nothing to be ashamed off. (sees bitten fingernails) You're also really stressed about something. (sees university pamphlets) College. It can be very expensive, Doug.

DOUG:
(turns to HENRY) Oh, that was good, Henry.

HENRY:
Doug, do not be a stooge.

DOUG:
Not a stooge, but in this one case, he was right.

SHAWN sees a shadow at the window of the kitchen door and puts a hand to his head.

SHAWN:
Knock at door.

There is a knock on the door and VICK and LASSITER let themselves in.

HENRY:
(walks over) Karen, do you mind? We're in the middle of an intervention here.

VICK:
We don't have time for that.

HENRY:
But you're the one who asked for this!

VICK:
And I thank you, Henry, but I'm afraid that this can't wait. We just got a break in the case. (turns to SHAWN) We just found out the name of the dead man. You want to tell him who he is, Detective?

LASSITER:
No.

VICK:
His name was Christopher Franzen. He is a paleontologist.

They look to SHAWN and he turns to GUS and then everyone turns to GUS.

GUS:
A dinosaur hunter.

SHAWN:
(looks at VICK) As expected. Doug, pleasure was all mine. (shakes DOUG’S hand)

DOUG:
Oh, no, Shawn, mine.

SHAWN:
We should get together.

EXT. UNIVERSITY, PALENTOLOGY BUILDING, DAY

GUS and SHAWN get out of the car and walk towards the building.

GUS:
All right, here's what we know so far. A man, a paleontology professor, washes ashore with wounds specific to a dinosaur. I don't think we can rule out the possibility of island somewhere in the Pacific where dinosaurs do exist.

SHAWN:
And have an appetite for Jeff Goldblum.

GUS:
I'm being serious, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Well, look who's Mr. Onboard and sounding like a whacked wombat.

GUS:
Then what is it?

SHAWN:
I don't know. It actually scares me that my wild dinosaur reach landed so close to the bull's-eye. This guy was possibly killed by something dinosaur-related, but it was probably a model or something from the archaeology department. We'll have to spend the better part of the next 24 hours sifting through their entire collection of artifacts. And by "we" I mean mostly you.

INT. ARCHEOLOGY DEPARTMENT, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are bending over looking at a sparse collection of mid-size bones and teeth. A young grad student, ETHAN, is showing them around.

SHAWN:
This is all there is?

ETHAN:
No. No, no, no, no. This is just the big stuff. We got the trilobites in a shoe box, but the shelf is kind of high.

SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You've got Pinhead, Chatterbox, Surgeon, and Stitch up there on a shelf?

GUS:
Shawn, those are Cenobites.

SHAWN:
Huh, well, what are trilobites?

GUS:
Fish fossils.

SHAWN:
Oh, Gus, for my sake, at least pretend like you don't know this stuff off the top of your head. Do this move. (holds hand to head) Trilo... trilobite? (GUS jabs him with his elbow) What? It'll help you! I'm serious. Look, Ethan, I can honestly say there were more historically significant items in the lost and found at the Taco John's in Porterville.

ETHAN:
Yeah. Yeah, it's a little sad. Word is the whole program is going under.

GUS:
You sure about that?

ETHAN:
Look, Professor Franzen would never really give us a straight answer. In fact, most nights he wasn't around to give us any answers. He was a pretty crappy advisor. And when he did show up, he was late, tired, completely disheveled. Nobody really trusted the guy. Look, do not ever take a class from him.

SHAWN:
He's dead.

ETHAN:
Oh, yeah. Then totally. (leaves)

GUS:
Well, this sure was a dead end.

SHAWN:
Yep, but at least we were the first ones to find the dead end. (looks out the window and sees LASSITER and JULIET) Oh, come on! He really is on fire. Literally.

SHAWN and GUS leave the room.

EXT. FRANZEN HOUSE, DAY

The police are already at the house when GUS and SHAWN arrive.

GUS:
I don't get this. The cops beat us to the dead guy's house.

SHAWN:
I don't know how I feel about the police department being so proactive.

GUS:
Feeling the heat?

SHAWN:
What, do you think I'm afraid of a little competition?

GUS:
I know you're afraid of competition. Why else would you have purposefully broken the Battlezone at Pizza Royale?

SHAWN:
Dude, you beat me once. And only because you first used the eye piece and then revealed you had pinkeye. (sees a keypad lock on the garage) Let's venture off the beaten path.

They head down the overgrown drive to the garage. SHAWN stops.

GUS:
What's wrong?

SHAWN:
I'm just trying to figure out what to do here, since as a rule we don't break and enter.

GUS:
What do you mean we don't break and enter? The 2400 Motel, the Hotel de la Cruz, the spellmaster's box.

SHAWN:
Yeah, but we really shouldn't pick this lock.

GUS:
You know I want to pick that lock.

SHAWN:
Yes, I do.

GUS:
Watch out.

SHAWN leans against the door as GUS strokes the keypad.

SHAWN:
What are you, the lock whisperer?

GUS lets out high-pitched gasps.

SHAWN:
Are you channeling Michael Jackson?

GUS shushes him and presses another button. There is an audible click.

GUS:
Who heard the second click?

SHAWN:
I heard the second click.

GUS presses the last button and pulls back as there is another click.

SHAWN:
Really?

SHAWN grunts as he pushes the door.

GUS:
Come on!

SHAWN slides the door open and slips into the garage. GUS looks around before entering and closing the door behind him.

INT. FRANZEN GARAGE, DAY

With the little light coming through the windows, we can see shelves and boxes strewn about the place.

SHAWN:
I can't see anything.

GUS:
Oh, I got it, I got it.

GUS reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small flashlight. He turns it on and looks around. He accidentally shines it in SHAWN’S eyes.

SHAWN:
Gus, that thing is brighter than the sun. I think you just gave me glaucoma.

GUS:
You can't give someone glaucoma. (finds light switch and turns it on)

SHAWN:
Thank you.

They look around and see a large number of fossils, larger than the ones at the university.

GUS:
This is better than the entire university department.

SHAWN:
It sure is.

GUS:
And his digging equipment is some heavy duty stuff. Looks like some shovels are missing. Part of a portable light kit. A lot of brushes. And fine finishing equipment, which I would assume he was only using in the lab.

As GUS is talking, SHAWN looks around and finds a photo of FRANZEN standing in front of a mounted fossil. He also finds a folded piece of paper with Xs and Os marked on it.

SHAWN:
Dude, I got something.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
(holds up paper) He was the worst tic-tac-toe player in the history of the world.

GUS:
I'm investigating and you're analyzing his doodles?

SHAWN:
Doodles are the window to the soul, Gus. Or maybe that's the epiglottis. Where's the uvula?

GUS looks out the door and sees LASSITER and JULIET getting out of a car.

GUS:
Lassiter's here.

SHAWN:
That guy's like five minutes behind us everywhere we go. (hides the diagram) Don't sleep in the nude tonight.

They leave the garage and turn out the lights.

EXT. FRANZEN HOUSE, DAY

LASSITER and JULIET make their way to the garage and LASSITER tries the door. SHAWN and GUS come around the corner like they were just arriving.

LASSITER:
Spencer, enjoying your time riding my behind?

SHAWN:
Definitely not in the nude.

LASSITER:
This lock looks too high tech for a backyard shed. We gotta find somebody who can crack the code.

SHAWN:
There's already someone here who can do that. (GUS makes a step forward but SHAWN puts up a hand) That person... is me.

LASSITER:
Well, make yourself useful.

SHAWN rubs his hands together and approaches the lock.

SHAWN:
I'll need you to step back, please. Give me some room to operate. (LASSITER and JULIET take a couple steps back) Further, please. (another couple steps) Further. Jules, could you help me out here? Just get him back onto the cobblestone. That's good, that's good. (they step back past the side of the garage) Thank you. I am sensing the first two digits. (whispers to GUS) What is it, 31? (GUS scoffs) Gus, help me out here. Come on, buddy. You can have my Tony Gwynn rookie.

GUS:
25.

SHAWN:
(loudly) 25! (punches keys)(to GUS) Eight?

GUS:
Three.

SHAWN:
Three! Four?

GUS:
Two.

SHAWN:
And... two.

GUS:
There's one more.

SHAWN:
Wait! There's one more.

GUS:
Nine.

SHAWN presses the final button and slides the door open. JULIET and LASSITER walk over.

JULIET:
That was amazing. (walks into the garage)

LASSITER:
I'll give you that one. (enters the garage)

GUS pushes SHAWN into the garage door before heading inside.

INT. FRANZEN GARAGE, DAY

LASSITER:
Can't see a thing in here.

GUS:
Oh, I've got it. (reaches for flashlight)

SHAWN:
Wait, I'm sensing a light switch. (turns on lights)

GUS shines the flashlight in SHAWN’S eyes and SHAWN bats him away.

LASSITER:
Tools are missing.

SHAWN:
Good work, Detective.

JULIET:
He had a blunt force trauma. That could be supplied by one of these missing items.

LASSITER:
Maybe this rock hammer or this medium shovel.

JULIET:
But where would they be?

LASSITER:
The bed of his pickup. It wasn't parked out front or at the university. We find that truck, we find the murder weapon. Let's go, O'Hara. We’re burning daylight. Excuse us.

LASSITER and JULIET leave.

SHAWN:
Man, you missed the truck?

GUS:
I'm not the psychic.

SHAWN heads for the door but stops when he sees a box from a road-side fruit stand in Ojai.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Why would someone frequent a fruit stand that's over 50 miles away?

GUS:
They like pomegranate?

SHAWN and GUS leave the garage.

EXT. PRODUCE STAND, DAY

SHAWN shows the OWNER the photo of FRANZEN.

OWNER:
Yeah, I know him. He was my best customer. Don't know his name. But he comes by every night before closing. (gives photo back)

GUS:
Did you ever see which way he went?

OWNER:
Yeah. (points) Always up the hill. That's all I see. Although every once in a while I see him come back down the hill early in the morning.

SHAWN:
Hmm. Well, thank you very much. Gus, you got anything else?

GUS:
Yes, is that peach pie in the back?

OWNER:
Yeah.

EXT. DIRT ROAD, DAY

GUS drives the Echo along the road through a dandelion-dotted field and past a distressed sign that reads “Deacon Walker Farms – No Trespassing”. GUS stops the car when a gate blocks the road.

INT. ECHO, DAY

GUS:
Another dead end. Let's turn around.

SHAWN sees that the bolt above the gate isn’t as rusted as the other bits of hardware.

SHAWN:
Hold on a second.

SHAWN and GUS get out of the car.

EXT. DIRT ROAD, DAY

SHAWN walks over to the post and points at the bolt.

SHAWN:
This looks like a place someone's been sneaking into.

SHAWN tries to lift the gate and GUS helps him. They slip through the space created.

EXT. FIELD, DAY

SHAWN and GUS cross the fields.

SHAWN:
What is this?

GUS:
Looks like some kind of farmland or grazing plain.

SHAWN:
Oh, look at that. It's like that movie. The one with Sigourney Weaver.

Ahead of them in the field are recent signs of digging, hastily filled-in holes.

GUS:
Aliens?

SHAWN:
No.

GUS:
Alien.

SHAWN:
No.

GUS:
Alien: Resurrection.

SHAWN:
Gus, the one with the holes and Shia LaBeouf.

GUS:
They had holes in Shia LaBeouf?

SHAWN:
The holes are in the ground, dude, like that. And Jon Voight was walking around all crazy.

GUS:
(slaps SHAWN on the arm) Oh, Anaconda.

SHAWN:
Yeah, never mind. (walks ahead)

GUS:
(follows) Gorillas in the Mist? Death and the Maiden?

SHAWN:
No!

GUS:
Half Moon Street?

SHAWN:
Just let it go.

They stop in the middle of the field.

SHAWN:
I'll be damned.

A gun is fired.

GUS:
(ducks) What?! Somebody's shooting at us!

They both scream and start running back to the car.

SHAWN:
Oh, God! They're shooting at us!

GUS:
We're gonna die!

SHAWN:
For sure! Run, Gus! Gus, run like the wind! No... get... get up!

EXT. DIRT ROAD, DAY

They slip through the gap between the gate and post.

GUS:
Okay!

SHAWN:
Hold the door.

GUS:
Come on, get in the car! (gets in car) Hurry up, Shawn!

SHAWN:
(gets in car) Start it, start it! Go, go, go!

GUS sets the Echo in reverse.

INT. ECHO, DAY

GUS ducks down and looks out the rear window as he drives.

SHAWN:
Dude, look at the road while you're driving!

GUS:
I'm staying down for safety.

SHAWN:
He was shooting directly into the air, Gus.

GUS:
Bullets go up. They have to come down.

SHAWN:
Do you know what the trajectory would have to be for that to happen?

GUS:
Don't you dare argue physics with me. Not while we're in the process of almost being killed.

GUS turns the car around. He sees a sign that reads: Trespassers Will Be Shot – Private Property.

GUS:
Didn't you see the "Trespassers Will Be Shot" sign?

SHAWN:
(looks out window) Oh, yeah. It totally said that. My bad.

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

VICK, SHAWN and GUS are the only ones in the office.

VICK:
Mr. Spencer, if you have any substantial information concerning the Christopher Franzen case, please get on with it.

SHAWN:
(clucks) I've got something. It's a cluck.

VICK:
A cluck?

SHAWN:
(clucks) Actually there's two.

VICK:
Two clucks.

SHAWN:
A cluck-cluck here. (walks like a chicken towards GUS) A bawk-bawk there. (walks to the door) Here a bawk. (points to another area) There a...

VICK:
Cluck?

SHAWN:
Everywhere a bawk-baaawk.

VICK:
Let me guess. You have a name. MacDonald, perhaps?

SHAWN:
No. No, it's a farm. With a farmer. An old farmer. Farmer Shootypants. That's a nickname. I don't think that's his actual handle.

LASSITER and JULIET enter the room.

LASSITER:
I've got it!

JULIET:
Lassiter found the paleontologist's truck.

LASSITER:
You helped.

JULIET:
I did help. It was his hunch.

LASSITER:
It was down at the old marina. I just had a feeling. I also found the prints of a certain grad student named Ethan Robinson along with a stack of letters from said grad students demanding the professor stop ruining his life.

JULIET:
We're sending a car over to pick him up.

LASSITER:
(sees SHAWN’S stunned face) Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting your trance?

SHAWN:
(to VICK) I don't buy it.

LASSITER:
Which part? The damning evidence or the murder weapon?

SHAWN:
There's more going on in this guy's life. Chief, I'm sensing... (mimes the act) Digging.

LASSITER:
Yeah, the archaeology department was going under. He was trying to make a big discovery. Put him on the map, get more funding.

SHAWN:
The farm. I can see the name of the farm. It's Wallll... Wall...

LASSITER:
Walker Farms. Yeah, we got that lead off the phone records. Yesterday. Apparently our victim made a series of phone calls to the farmer trying to buy some of his land, but it wasn't for sale.

JULIET:
Farmer was forthcoming, cooperative…

LASSITER:
Definitely not a suspect. (looks at SHAWN) Anything else?

VICK:
I have to say, you have been very thorough.

LASSITER:
We're just doing what any good cops would do.

LASSITER and JULIET fist-bump. SHAWN gasps.

INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM, DAY

HENRY is in a chair reading, feet up on the coffee table when SHAWN and GUS enter.

HENRY:
Shawn, what are you doing?

GUS:
Yeah, what are we doing, Shawn?

SHAWN:
I need to borrow some tools.

HENRY:
What kind of tools?

SHAWN:
Digging tools. A little excavation project we got going on.

HENRY:
Are you still on that dinosaur thing?

GUS:
We're still on that dinosaur thing?

SHAWN:
What, is there an echo in here? Yes, we're still on the dinosaur thing. We step foot on the far end of this guy Walker's farm in Ojai and he starts blasting us with buckshot. We know our dead guy was there every night leading up to his death, digging around the periphery of this property. (heads for the kitchen)

HENRY:
(gets up and walks over to SHAWN) No, Shawn, wait. I don't want you borrowing my tools.

SHAWN:
Oh, Gus will leave his class ring as collateral.

GUS:
No, I won't.

SHAWN:
Yes, you will.

GUS:
No, I won't.

SHAWN:
Sure you will.

GUS:
No, I won't.

HENRY:
I can't support this.

SHAWN:
Well, there's a shocker, you not being supportive.

HENRY:
Would you shut up and listen? I'm saying I can't support you going somewhere where you could get shot.

SHAWN:
What, are you… Are you worried about me?

HENRY:
Shawn, I've been worried about you since you were three years old and started eating your own toenails.

SHAWN:
Well, Dad, I'll be fine, okay? We're not gonna go anywhere near the house. And if it'll make you feel any better, I will stand behind Gus the entire time.

GUS:
No, you won't.

SHAWN:
Yes, I will.

GUS:
No, you won't.

SHAWN:
Oh, yes, I will.

GUS:
You wanna bet?

HENRY:
I don't like it. It doesn't feel right. I know feelings.

SHAWN:
Pardon me? Did... Did you just say..."I know feelings"?

SHAWN pats HENRY on the shoulder as he walks past. GUS follows him.

EXT. FIELD, DAY

SHAWN and GUS stand on the edge of the field. SHAWN has a bag with HENRY’S tools over his shoulder.

GUS:
Perfect. This will be easy.

SHAWN:
Oh, there's a pattern here. Those guys dig with a reason.

GUS:
How do you know that?

SHAWN:
Gus, I worked at the museum for almost an entire weekend before I got canned. (flashes on the map from FRANZEN’S garage) Wait a second. Those weren't tic-tac-toe boards. Those were all the places he'd dug.

GUS:
There were like 25 Xs. No way he scored that often.

SHAWN:
The Xs were misses. In this case, "O" marks the spot. (closes eyes and overlays the map on the field and points) And that's the "O." (walks over and sees tracks) This is the only hole filled by a bulldozer.

GUS:
No self-respecting paleontologist would use a bulldozer. (scoffs and puts hands on hips)

SHAWN:
Why do you know that?

GUS:
Because, Shawn, if you use a bull...

SHAWN:
Gus, I don't actually want to know.

GUS:
Then don't ask.

SHAWN:
(sighs) Here. (takes the bag from shoulder) This shouldn't take long. Grab a shovel. And keep an eye out for that farmer.

SHAWN and GUS start digging.

>>>LATER>>>

GUS is digging the hole, now near 5-feet deep.

GUS:
How you doing on your side?

SHAWN:
(lying down) Good, solid. I'm holding up.

GUS:
(stands over SHAWN) Shawn!

SHAWN:
(startled) What? I'm keeping watch. That's how the other guy died. What, you're not concerned? (a thrown shovel lands on his torso) All right, I get it! It's my turn.

INT. HOLE, DAY

The hole is much deeper now and both are drained from the exertion.

GUS:
This is the end of the loose dirt. Be careful.

SHAWN groans and slides down the wall. GUS taps at the hard ground with a small brush.

GUS:
This is weird.

SHAWN:
What? That there's rocks in the ground?

GUS:
These aren't rocks. These are fossils. But they've been processed, finished off, residue, rocks chipped away. Stuff you would normally do in a lab.

SHAWN:
Franzen found something.

They brush away the dirt.

GUS:
Why wouldn't he just take it out and do the work in the lab where it should be done? Unless...

SHAWN:
Unless it was too big to move. Oh, dude, I'm gonna get the leaf blower. (leaves)

GUS:
You brought a leaf blower? (follows)

EXT. FIELD, DAY

SHAWN has the leaf blower strapped to his back and GUS starts it. They both jump into the hole and dirt comes flying up into the air.

INT. HOLE, DAY

The air clears and a dirt-covered GUS and SHAWN look down on the uncovered fossil of a T-Rex head. They kneel down beside it.

SHAWN:
You got to be kidding me.

GUS:
I just discovered a dinosaur.

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

Tools and dirty shoes and socks mark the path to where SHAWN and GUS collapsed on the floor, exhausted.

GUS:
Filling that hole was the worst idea ever.

SHAWN:
It had to be done, Gus. We have to save it for when we unmask Franzen's killer.

GUS:
I still don't get it.

SHAWN:
He was on the trail of… Of a fossil graveyard. It lead him right to Deacon Farms. Farmer wouldn't let him dig on the land, so he takes matters into his own hands after hours.

GUS:
But why wouldn't the farmer let him dig?

SHAWN:
Maybe he didn't want his farm disturbed.

GUS:
(sits up with a groan) A dig like that is worth millions to a land owner. And the fossils I discovered weren't even on crop land.

SHAWN:
You discovered?

GUS:
Don't try to take away my dinosaur discovery, Shawn.

SHAWN:
I wouldn't dream of it. I'm sorry. It was all you. I'm very proud of you.

GUS:
(leans back against desk) Don't you think once they unearth that thing there would be a swarm of people crashing in from all over the world?

SHAWN:
Why didn't he just lease the land?

GUS:
I don't get it.

SHAWN:
(gets up quickly) I've got an idea.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Let's ask him.

GUS:
What?! We're pretty sure we just found a cold-blooded murderer, and you want to go to his house and ask him about it?

SHAWN:
We can ask nicely.

GUS:
No!

SHAWN:
All right, all right. We come up with a cover story. We're vacuum salesmen. No, traveling gypsies. (slaps floor) No, no, no! We'll do Of Mice and Men. I'm Lennie.

GUS:
No.

SHAWN:
(child-like voice) "George, you said that I could take care of those rabbits, George."

GUS:
Shawn…

SHAWN:
"And later on you're gonna cook those beans."

GUS:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
"Beans make me go..."

EXT. PRODUCE STAND, DAY

GUS:
No Lennie.

SHAWN:
Gus, you know how long I've been waiting to pull out my Lennie?

GUS:
No, Shawn, we do the National Paleontology Society thing as agreed. And we keep it very, very simple.

SHAWN:
It's not as much fun as whipping out my Lennie.

GUS:
And why are we stopping here?

SHAWN:
Have you tried these peaches?

The OWNER pops out from under the counter.

OWNER:
You're back.

SHAWN:
Yes, sir, we are. We're addicted to your citrus.

GUS:
Peaches aren't citrus, Shawn. They're stone fruit.

SHAWN:
It's the same thing.

GUS:
No, not the same thing. They have pits. Peaches, cherries, plums, and apricots.

SHAWN:
I can't do this with you right now. (to OWNER) Does your fruit come from Walker Farms?

OWNER:
Oh, no. We grow on our own little parcel of land. Deacon Walker's farm used to be a supplier of ours years ago, but they don't grow nearly as much as they used to.

SHAWN:
Thank you so much for your information. If you have a moment, my friend and I would like to buy every peach on that truck.

GUS:
Including the one you're eating.

EXT. FARMHOUSE, DAY

The Echo pulls up in front of the farmhouse. SHAWN and GUS get out and walk to the front door.

SHAWN:
You sure you don't want to do Of Mice and Men?

GUS:
You so much as slur one word, I'll give you an Indian burn so hot your socks will catch fire.

SHAWN:
Indian burn? I haven't been threatened with that this millennium.

They go up the steps to the porch.

GUS:
Take a shot if your ulna feels safe.

SHAWN:
I don't think the ulna's in the forearm.

GUS:
Trust me, it is.

SHAWN knocks on the screen door.

SHAWN:
How can you Indian burn a bone?

GUS:
Stop analyzing my threat.

SHAWN:
Get it right.

GUS:
I got it right.

The door is opened by an older man, WALKER, in a flannel shirt, jeans and suspenders.

SHAWN:
Deacon Walker?

WALKER:
Sullivan Walker.

SHAWN:
Is Deacon Walker home?

WALKER:
There is no Deacon Walker.

SHAWN:
That's confusing. I've got nothing. Gus?

GUS:
Then why name the farm Deacon Walker Farms?

WALKER:
Because it used to be called Deacon Walker. Roger Deacon was my partner. He's not anymore.

GUS:
Oh.

SHAWN:
That cleans it up nicely. Maybe we come in?

WALKER:
No. What do you want?

GUS:
We're from the National Paleontological Society...

WALKER:
Not interested. (slams door shut)

SHAWN:
Clearly he's not interested.

SHAWN knocks on the door and WALKER opens it.

SHAWN:
We would like to make you a very sizeable offer on a very small portion of your...

WALKER slams the door again. SHAWN sighs before knocking on the door again.

SHAWN:
(as Lennie face pressed against the screen) Hello, my name is Lennie. I like to...

WALKER slams the door again.

SHAWN:
You think he'd open up if we knocked again?

GUS scoffs and goes down the steps. SHAWN follows and they head back to the car.

GUS:
I'm glad it only took us an hour to get up here. Not like I wasted a whole day.

SHAWN sees that the area behind the house looks like it has been recently dug as well. There is also a small bulldozer.

SHAWN:
Franzen dug up here too?

SHAWN and GUS examine the area.

GUS:
No, he didn't. These are all new and dug with a bulldozer. A real paleontologist...

SHAWN:
Would never use such an indelicate tool, I got it.

GUS:
So our farmer's been digging too.

SHAWN:
Right. But if the gold mine's out there, why is he digging over here?

They walk back to the car and SHAWN’S phone rings. He takes it out of his pocket and reads the screen.

SHAWN:
It's my dad. Think he wants his leaf blower back? (answers phone)

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH –

- CUT TO:

EXT. PIER, DAY

HENRY is on the pier talking to SHAWN over the phone

HENRY:
Shawn? Shawn, you're not anywhere near that farmhouse, are you?

SHAWN:
Dad, how dare you? Of course not.

HENRY:
Good. Stay away, Shawn. I know where I remember that farm. Deacon Walker Farm. I was up there about 20 years ago. A girl reported that her boyfriend went missing. Roger Deacon. He was a partner in the farm. He was never found, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Never found?

HENRY:
That's right, the farmer claimed he went back to England or some nonsense. The point is, we never found out where he went.

SHAWN:
I think I might know where he is.

HENRY:
Where?

SHAWN:
I might be looking at him.

HENRY:
Shawn?

SHAWN:
Gotta go. (ends call)

HENRY:
Shawn! God...

SHAWN:
(looks at GUS) Dude.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN merely looks at his best friend and GUS only sighs.

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

VICK is sitting at the table as LASSITER walks.

LASSITER:
It now appears a lot of our evidence is circumstantial. We're checking the grad student's alibi, but... I'm not as confident as I like to be.

JULIET enters the room.

JULIET:
Shawn Spencer's on line one.

VICK:
What does he want?

JULIET:
He wants us to go meet him in the Ojai Valley somewhere.

VICK:
We're in the middle of the Franzen case.

JULIET:
I told him that. He guarantees that in ten minutes he can solve the case, nab the killer, close an additional unsolved murder, and...

VICK:
And what?

JULIET:
Unearth a dinosaur.

VICK:
Well, I'm curious.

VICK stands and walks out of the office with JULIET. LASSITER sighs and rubs a hand over his head as he follows.

EXT. FIELD, DAY

WALKER is showing LASSITER and JULIET his farm. They are in the field with the holes.

WALKER:
This is as far as my property goes. That's all there is. Well, I've answered all your questions, Detective. What more do you want from me?

LASSITER:
I'm not entirely sure, sir.

JULIET:
We just have one more person we need you to talk to.

SHAWN and GUS arrive with VICK. SHAWN raises a hand in greeting.

WALKER:
Lennie?

VICK:
Lennie?

GUS:
Don't even ask.

SHAWN:
My name is not Lennie, Mr. Walker. But if it were, I would've been amazing.

GUS:
No, you wouldn't have.

SHAWN:
Would've brought tears, Gus.

JULIET:
Guys, the point?

SHAWN:
The truth is I'm a psychic. I work for the SBPD. And the mystic vibrations of the sea have brought me here to solve not one, but two murders.

GUS holds up two fingers and smiles.

WALKER:
You're a what?

As SHAWN speaks, we see what unfolded.

SHAWN:
Christopher Franzen was a persistent annoyance, huh? He couldn't help it. His department was going under. He was desperate to find something significant to save his career. And he knew that your property held the key. But you wouldn't let him dig. You couldn't let him dig. So he did what any self-respecting paleontologist on the verge of a nervous breakdown would do. He dug anyway. Secretly. Under the blanket of night. And into the early morning. And he dug, and he dug, and he found something. And that's when you found him. You knew the magnitude of the find. Once word got out, you'd never be able to keep the rest of the world from digging here too. And you couldn't have the rest of the world digging here either, could you?

Soon after SHAWN starts, LASSITER and JULIET make their way to stand behind WALKER. As he finishes, HENRY arrives.

HENRY:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
Dad? What are you doing here?

HENRY:
I was worried. About my tools. (VICK sighs) What? If I had known you were finally smart enough to bring some backup, I wouldn't have had to come up here, Shawn.

GUS:
Shawn, will you tell them why Walker wouldn't let him dig?

SHAWN:
Roger Deacon.

HENRY:
Deacon is buried on the property!

SHAWN:
Dad! Dad, you just blew the big reveal.

HENRY:
You already mentioned his name, Shawn.

SHAWN:
They don’t know that Deacon was the partner Walker killed 20 years ago.

WALKER:
Hey, now wait a minute here...

LASSITER:
He what now?

SHAWN:
Yeah, he killed Deacon and he buried him somewhere on the farm and he can't remember where. Isn't that right, Farmer Shootypants?

WALKER:
I don't have to stand here and take this.

LASSITER:
No, actually you do. What does this have to do with Christopher Franzen?

SHAWN:
He killed Franzen when he caught him standing above his dinosaur skull discovery, sending him flying right into the teeth of the dinosaur. But he couldn't bury him here. No, no, no, he had called the farm. He had snooped around the farm. There was a trail to the farm. No, he had to dump him somewhere where there'd be no forensics. Like the ocean. Just let the salt water clean the corpse and wash it ashore. And the murder scene. Well, he hopped on his handy bulldozer and filled the hole.

JULIET:
I'm getting a bad feeling about your streak.

LASSITER:
You too, huh?

WALKER:
I think I need a lawyer.

LASSITER:
I think you're right. Put your hands behind your back.

WALKER:
What?

LASSITER:
You heard me. (cuffs WALKER)

HENRY:
You still haven't answered the question why he dug all the holes around the house, Shawn.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Dad, that's the finale. That's why I don't invite you to these things. (normal) He was looking for Deacon's body.

Whatever.

VICK:
Are we done here, Mr. Spencer?

SHAWN:
No, we're not done. For my final demonstration... (takes out shovel) I will now discover a dinosaur.

GUS:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
Actually, Gus will discover a dinosaur. (holds out the shovel to GUS)

GUS:
(reaches for shovel) Wait a second. You just want me to dig this hole.

SHAWN:
I do not.

GUS:
I'm not falling for that, Shawny boy. You dig it.

SHAWN:
Fine. I'll take credit for the discovery.

GUS:
Oh, no, you won't. Give me that shovel. (grabs the shovel)

SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's too late. You blew it.

As SHAWN and GUS fight over the shovel and the right to make the claim, the others leave unnoticed.

GUS:
What?!

SHAWN:
And whoever discovers it gets to name it. I'm naming him Zippy. Or Chompy. Zippy the Dinosaur, discovered by psychic paleo-sleuth Shawn Spencer!

GUS:
Give me this shovel, Shawn!

SHAWN yanks the shovel out of GUS’ hands.

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

BUZZ erases the board marking LASSITER’S streak and wheels it away. LASSITER walks over to his desk followed by JULIET.

INT. SBPD, BULLPEN, DAY

LASSITER:
Killed by a dinosaur. And he's right. It was an actual dinosaur.

JULIET:
Technically, it's the fall that killed him.

LASSITER:
Not helping. Who am I kidding? I am doomed. I am never gonna suspect an extinct creature. How can I compete with that?

JULIET:
You don't have to compete.

LASSITER:
O'Hara, I am physically incapable of pointing the finger at a dragon or a leprechaun or the Loch Ness Monster. (sits on desk) I quit. I'm gonna donate my badge to charity.

JULIET:
It was a good run, Carlton. All streaks have to end. Lou Boudreau fielded the ball cleanly. You have to let it go.

LASSITER:
Who the hell is Lou Boudreau?

JULIET:
He recorded the out that ended DiMaggio's hit streak. Don't you watch baseball?

LASSITER:
Of course I watch baseball. I just don't know meaningless facts from 75 years ago.

JULIET:
66.

LASSITER:
You disturb me.

JULIET:
Do you need a hug?

LASSITER:
(stands, affronted) Oh, what do I look like? (walks off but comes back) Yeah, I'll take the hug. (breaks hug) Okay, thanks. (leaves)

JULIET:
Okay.

INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, KITCHEN, DAY

SHAWN enters the kitchen, jacket over his shoulder, motorcycle helmet in hand. HENRY, GUS and DOUG are waiting for him. GUS is eating.

SHAWN:
Oh, come on, you guys. We're still doing this intervention thing?

HENRY:
Yes, yes, Shawn, we are. Son, you have no sense of responsibility. (sits) And lately you've been purposefully putting yourself in a severe amount of unnecessary danger. On top of which, you are constantly belittling the good work of...

DOUG:
Actually, Henry, I stretched the truth a bit. This isn't about Shawn. This is about you.

HENRY:
What?

SHAWN looks a little smug as he stands beside DOUG.

DOUG:
Can we talk about your obsessive need for control?

HENRY:
(stands and points angrily) You come into my house, Devette. You lie to me?!

DOUG:
Let's try to be rational. Did you really drive all the way up to Ojai just to crash Shawn's crowning moment?

HENRY:
Get out.

DOUG:
Henry, we're here for you. At least listen.

HENRY:
Out now. Get out! Out!

DOUG, GUS and SHAWN head for the door as HENRY chases them out.

SHAWN:
I'd like to start. When I was about seven, he...

HENRY closes the door behind them and locks it.