Transcript: 8x06 The Caretaker

[jpgr]

EXT. PLANET SURFACE

The surface is a desert with two suns burning overhead. The DOCTOR and CLARA are chained to stone pillars in the middle of nowhere. The DOCTOR is trying to free himself.

CLARA:
There's no way out of this. We're going to die here.

DOCTOR:
Pass me the vibro-cutters.

CLARA:
They're in my pocket.

DOCTOR:
Come on then, pass them to me.

CLARA:
In my other jacket. At home.

DOCTOR:
Why have you got have two jackets - is one of them faulty?

CLARA:
Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I had the vibro-cutters, I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters. We're going to starve to death out here.

DOCTOR:
Of course, we won't starve. The sand piranhas will get us long before that.

INT. RESTAURANT

DANNY is waiting for CLARA. She enters and is very tan.

CLARA:
Hiya. Sorry I'm late.

DANNY stands and they kiss.

DANNY:
(slowly sits) You're not, but you are brown, you're very brown. You weren't that brown this morning.

CLARA:
Sunbed. (fans herself) I'll get 'em in. Usual?

INT. CLARA’S FLAT

The DOCTOR is in her parlor with the TARDIS.

DOCTOR:
Fish people.

CLARA:
What are they like?

DOCTOR:
Fish. And people. Come and see.

CLARA runs into the TARDIS.

INT. TAXI, NIGHT

CLARA hops into a taxi where DANNY is waiting. She is wet.

CLARA:
How's you? (kisses him)

DANNY:
Evening. Nice frock. It's a bit wet.

CLARA:
Freak shower. (pulls a piece of seaweed off her dress and throws it to the floor)

DANNY:
Is that seaweed?

CLARA:
I said freak.

INT. TUNNELS

The DOCTOR and CLARA are being chased through tunnels and being shot at with lasers.

CLARA:
How much further?

DOCTOR:
TARDIS has got to be ‘round this corner. (stops) I hate soldiers. Don't you hate soldiers?

CLARA:
Yeah.

DOCTOR:
Just keep running!

EXT. CLARA’S FLAT

CLARA opens the door and is surprised to see DANNY there.

CLARA:
Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya.

DANNY:
(jogs in place) Morning. Ready to run?

INT. CLARA’S FLAT, BEDROOM

CLARA opens the door, panting, and falls into the chair at her vanity.

CLARA:
I can't keep doing this. I can't do it. (looks at her reflection and talks herself into it) Yes, I can, I can do it, of course I can do it. I've got it all under control.

INT. TARDIS

CLARA, refreshed, opens the door. The DOCTOR is on the upper level.

CLARA:
So, where we off to?

DOCTOR:
Clara, you... (hurries down the stairs) You look lovely today. Have you had a wash?

CLARA:
Why are you being nice?

DOCTOR:
Because it works on you. (moves the scanner so she won’t see it) Listen, I'm sorry but there's going to be no trip today. I'm sorry. Er, I've got to do a thing. It might take a while.

CLARA:
What thing?

DOCTOR:
Just a thing.

CLARA:
You're being mysterious, and do you know what means?

DOCTOR:
I'm a man of mystery.

CLARA:
Hmm. It means that you are a very clever man making the mistake, common to very clever people, of assuming that everybody else is stupid. (grabs the scanner and looks) Where are you going?

DOCTOR:
Undercover. Deep cover.

CLARA:
Can you do deep cover?

DOCTOR:
What do you mean?

CLARA:
Have you seen you?

DOCTOR:
Of course, I can do deep cover!

CLARA:
(giggles) Where? The Magic Circle?

DOCTOR:
I'll see you when I see you. (snaps his fingers, opening the doors)

CLARA:
(snaps her fingers closing the doors) When's that?

DOCTOR:
(snaps fingers) When I see you.

CLARA:
(studies the DOCTOR) Hmm. Hmm. (walks around him) I'll be sure to have a wash.

DOCTOR:
Excellent. I was meaning to bring it up.

CLARA walks out the doors, still watching the DOCTOR as she closes them. As soon as they are closed, the DOCTOR reaches for the console. The doors open again and the DOCTOR pulls his hand back as CLARA silently motions that she will be keeping her eyes on him before closing the doors. The DOCTOR reaches for the console once more. He pulls one of the screens over which shows a blinking light somewhere in East London.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, DAY

A few students are kicking around a football close to the building. A teacher walks up to them.

TEACHER:
You lot! Not here...over there.

CLARA walks by as the students relocate. DANNY arrives from the opposite side. A group of girls are by the entrance. One of them greets DANNY.

GIRL:
Morning, Mr Pink.

DANNY:
Morning, Courtney. And good morning, Miss Oswald.

CLARA:
Morning, Mr Pink.

The girls giggle as the two teachers go inside.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, DAY

CLARA and DANNY walk through the corridor.

CLARA:
Do they know?

DANNY:
Possibly - they're children. It's like they've got minds of their own. Are you OK?

CLARA:
Yeah, course I'm OK. Why wouldn't I be OK?

DANNY:
I dunno. Every time I see you, it's like you're...

CLARA:
What?

DANNY:
In a rush. In a state. In a space helmet, one time.

CLARA:
Sorry, er, I've had a...thing and, er, the thing's gone so I'm all yours.

DANNY:
What thing? What's gone?

CLARA:
Nothing.

DANNY:
It's like you're trying to be mysterious. I'm not stupid, you know.

They stop walking and CLARA faces DANNY.

CLARA:
The next few days are all about you. I promise.

CLARA leans forward as if to kiss him but pulls back when she notices the pupils behind them giggling. She clears her throat and the two continue walking.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, STAFF ROOM, DAY

The teachers are gathered as the HEADMASTER gives them a daily briefing.

HEADMASTER:
Which means, Jo, you'll have to cover for 8/4M in L3.

The teachers all get up and start to leave.

HEADMASTER:
Hold on, there is just one more thing. Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie, I did ask him to come along.

There is a knock at the door.

HEADMASTER:
Ah, here he is. (goes to open the door)

The DOCTOR walks through the open door wearing a long jacket and carrying dustmop.

DOCTOR:
I'm the new caretaker. John Smith.

CLARA can only stare in disbelief.

DANNY:
(shakes the DOCTOR’S hand) Welcome to Coal Hill, Mr Smith.

DOCTOR:
Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name. But, you know, here's a thing, most people just call me the Doctor. (winks at CLARA)

**********************************************************************

Peter Capaldi
Jenna Coleman

DOCTOR WHO
“The Caretaker”
By
Gareth Roberts
& Steven Moffat

PRODUCER
Nikki Wilson

DIRECTOR
Paul Murphy

**********************************************************************

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, DAY

More students hurry into the school

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, STAFF ROOM, DAY

The teachers file out past the DOCTOR. CLARA is the last out.

DOCTOR:
So, if anybody needs me, just, you know, give me a shout. I'll be in the storeroom just getting the lie of the land. Yes, no-one's taking any notice at all. Absolutely good news because it means I must be coming across just as an absolutely boring human being like you.

CLARA mouths “What are you doing here?”

DOCTOR:
Deep cover. Deep cover. (closes the door on her)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, DAY

CLARA and DANNY walk through the corridor.

DANNY:
Do you know him?

CLARA:
Know who?

DANNY:
The caretaker, Smith. "The Doctor."

CLARA:
Never seen him before in my life.

DANNY:
Bit intense looking. Did you see those eyebrows? Did he wink at you?

CLARA:
(stops) No, I think that was just a sort of general wink. He winked at everybody. It was a general welcoming wink. Ah, I have, erm, left some marking. Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop. Catch you in a bit. Excuse me. (goes back the way she came)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, STAFF ROOM, DAY

The DOCTOR is looking at a map of the school and grounds but shoves it into his pocket when CLARA bursts in.

DOCTOR:
So, you recognised me, then.

CLARA:
You're wearing a different coat.

DOCTOR:
But you saw straight through that.

CLARA advances on the DOCTOR and he holds up the mop to keep her away. They circle around as they talk.

CLARA:
Deep cover in my school? Why? Where's Atif, what have you done with him?

DOCTOR:
He's fine, hypnotised, he thinks he's got the 'flu. Also a flying car and three wives. It's going to be a rude awakening.

CLARA:
Is it aliens? Oh, my God, is that why you're here? Are there aliens?

DOCTOR:
It's assembly, you better get going. Go and worship something.

CLARA:
Are there aliens in this school?

DOCTOR:
Listen, it's lovely talking to you, but I've really got to get on. I'm a caretaker now. Look, I've got a brush.

CLARA:
Doctor, is there an alien in this school?

DOCTOR:
Yes. Me. Now, go. The walls need sponging and there's a sinister puddle.

CLARA:
You can't do this. You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people.

DOCTOR:
I lived among otters once for a month. Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight...

CLARA:
Human beings are not otters!

DOCTOR:
Exactly, it'll be even easier.

CLARA:
(steps up to the DOCTOR) One question. And you will answer this question. Are the kids safe?

DOCTOR:
No. Nobody is safe. But soon the answer will be yes, everybody is safe, if you let me get on. Now... pretend you don't know me, stay out of my way. (opens the door) The less you know, the better. I'll explain it all later. Go and sing with the otters. (walks into the corridor)

CLARA:
I hate you.

DOCTOR:
That's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction. (leaves)

EXT. STREET, DAY

Two schoolboys are hanging outside a building playing a video game.

BOY 1:
Basically, you've to get that guy on the block and stop that other one shooting him. It's so sick.

BOY 2:
I-I got that guy. That was, like, six months ago. You actually have to flick it that way.

A policeman approaches them.

BOY 1:
Nah, but I'm saying...

POLICEMAN:
You Coal Hill kids?

They stop playing and look at the POLICEMAN.

BOY 2:
Yes, so what if we are?

POLICEMAN:
Then get to Coal Hill.

BOY 2:
(struts up to POLICEMAN) We've got a free period, mate.

POLICEMAN:
You want me to take your names?

BOY 2:
(to BOY 1) Come on.

The boys pick up their bags.

BOY 2:
(to POLICEMAN) This is unfair, mate.

The boys leave. The POLICEMAN hears a rattling from inside the building.

POLICEMAN:
Always come in threes. (opens the gate and steps into the courtyard) Oi! I know you're in there. (pulls metal panel away from door and enters)

INT. BUILDING, DAY

The POLICEMAN takes out his torch and shines it around the corridor.

POLICEMAN:
Hello? I'm a police officer. (goes up the stairs) There's no point hiding. Do you hear me? Come on, kiddo.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Five-stop-intruder. Five-stop-intruder.

POLICEMAN:
Turn your game off, it's time for school. Come on! Stop messing about!

We see the POLICEMAN through the point-of-view of the voice. It shows a different light spectrum.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Problem-solution-DESTROY.

We then see the ROBOT that shoots the POLICEMAN multiple times and he screams. We then see a burned hand fall to the floor next to a pile of smoking ash.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CLASSROOM, DAY

A BOY is reading aloud from “Pride and Prejudice” while CLARA sits at her desk.

BOY:
“…though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth, and as it assured her that Darcy was...”

The DOCTOR appears, working on one of the windows. CLARA gets up and walks to the window at the back of the class.

BOY:
You all right, Miss Oswald?

CLARA:
Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on.

KELVIN:
“Every feeling of displeasure against the former was so sharpened...”

We see that the DOCTOR is standing at the top of a ladder leaning against the building.

CLARA:
(stands on a chair) Can I help you, Mr Smith?

DOCTOR:
Wrong.

CLARA:
I'm sorry?

DOCTOR:
On the board. Wrong. Wrong.

On a white board in the front of the class, CLARA has written the first line of the novel dated 1797.

CLARA:
Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't do this. You are the caretaker, this is not what you do.

DOCTOR:
Just taking care.

CLARA:
Not your area!

DOCTOR:
Jane Austen wrote “Pride and Prejudice” in 1796.

CLARA clears her throat and turns around to face the class who have been listening to the exchange.

CLARA:
This is Mr Smith, the temporary caretaker, and he's a bit confused.

DOCTOR:
Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time. She was so busy...

CLARA:
(interrupts) Oh, I suppose she was your bezzie mate, was she? And you went on holidays together and then you got kidnapped by Boggons from space and then you all formed a band and met Buddy Holly.

DOCTOR:
No, I read the book. There's a bio at the back.

The students giggle.

CLARA:
Get down.

DOCTOR:
“Boggons”?

CLARA:
Go!

The DOCTOR climbs down the ladder as the class bell rings.

CLARA:
Right, that's it. (gets off the chair) Well done, Kelvin. (pats him on the back as she walks past) Get going. See you all in a couple of days. Thanks very much. (grabs purse and heads for the door)

KELVIN:
Miss, what about our homework?

CLARA:
Who asks for homework? Amateur. (leaves)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, DAY

CLARA hurries through the corridor looking for the DOCTOR. She spots him outside working on a junction box. She is stopped by a tall boy.

BOY:
Miss Oswald...

CLARA:
Hello, Tobias, can't really stop.

TOBIAS:
I'm in the football team against Durrants on Thursday. Sorry, but can I go early from English Thursday afternoon?

CLARA:
Tobias, you can do whatever you want.

CLARA hurries away only to be stopped by the HEADMASTER.

HEADMASTER:
Clara, can I grab a quick word?

CLARA:
Actually, I, erm...

HEADMASTER:
Two weeks Saturday, the fete, can I put you down for tombola and the raffle? James H can't cover it now. His wife's going into hospital. Hip replacement. Constant agony.

As the HEADMASTER is speaking, she looks out the window and sees the DOCTOR talking with DANNY and another teacher - who looks very similar to the Eleventh Doctor.

CLARA:
Great. No, awful. That's terrible. Awful. I hope she'll be OK. Erm, I'll do anything. Anything. OK. Bye. (hurries away)

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, YARD, DAY

CLARA heads over to the men. She is stopped by COURTNEY, the girl who greeted DANNY that morning.

COURTNEY:
Miss Oswald, Katie Sharps says I pulled her hair in Biology.

CLARA:
Courtney, you are big enough to look after yourself. Next class, jog on, I need to talk to Mr Pink. (gently moves COURTNEY aside so he can continue)

COURTNEY:
Ozzie loves the Squaddie.

CLARA:
(turns around) What was that?

COURTNEY:
Nothing. (goes inside)

CLARA steps closer and listens to the conversation. The other teacher, ADRIAN, is speaking.

ADRIAN:
Of course, Danny Pink here is your man, Mr Smith. Five years' military experience, sergeant, here and Afghan, so electrics, boilers, if you need a hand, give him a shout.

CLARA takes a watering can from a student so she can get closer and look like she’s supposed to be there.

DANNY:
I-I've helped Atif with a couple of things.

DOCTOR:
I'm sure I won't need you, Sergeant. Fully qualified. (sticks a screwdriver in near the wires causing sparks) You best get back to your PE class.

DANNY:
Oh, I teach maths.

DOCTOR:
Do you? What, in emergencies?

DANNY:
No. I'm a maths teacher.

ADRIAN:
Yeah, he's a maths teacher...

We hear glass break.

ADRIAN:
Mohammed, put that down! (leaves)

We see CLARA approach a large planter in the corner.

DOCTOR:
How does that work? What if the kids have questions?

DANNY:
About what?

DOCTOR:
Maths.

DANNY:
I answer them. I'm a maths teacher.

DOCTOR:
But he said you were a soldier.

DANNY:
Yeah. I was a soldier, now I'm a maths teacher.

DOCTOR:
But what about all the PE?

DANNY:
I don't teach PE. I'm not a PE teacher.

DOCTOR:
Sorry, that seems very unlikely.

CLARA:
Er, excuse me. Mr Pink, I think class 9M4 are waiting.

DOCTOR:
(stands) Yes, you better run along, Sergeant. That ball isn't going to kick itself, is it?

DANNY:
I-I'm not a PE teacher, I'm a maths teacher.

DOCTOR:
Nope, sorry, no, I can't retain that. I've tried, it's just not going in.

DANNY leaves. CLARA puts down the watering can.

CLARA:
So, Pink. The name remind you of anything?

DOCTOR:
Yeah. The colour.

CLARA:
Colonel Orson Pink? The guy we met at the end of the universe.

DOCTOR:
Oh, yeah. OK, same name, doesn't look anything like him though.

CLARA:
Looks very like him.

DOCTOR:
(puts a blinking device into the cabinet) Does he? I don't know. Who remembers a PE teacher?

CLARA:
Never mind.

The DOCTOR closes and locks the cabinet.

CLARA:
What are you doing? What...? What's in there?

DOCTOR:
So...is he here then? (picks up bag and starts walking)

CLARA:
Is who here?

DOCTOR:
The one you keep going on serious dates with.

CLARA:
If he is, are you going to start talking like a normal human being?

DOCTOR:
I promise I won't. I'm being nice.

CLARA:
Doctor...?

ADRIAN:
Clara. Got this period free, yes?

CLARA:
No. Yes.

ADRIAN:
Great. Shakespeare.

CLARA:
Sorry, what, Adrian?

DOCTOR:
Oh...I see.

CLARA:
You see what?

DOCTOR:
Nothing. Nothing at all.

ADRIAN:
Excuse me. We have to talk about The Tempest, in light of the changes to the sixth form Shakespeare module, blah-de-blah...

The three walk inside, the DOCTOR behind CLARA and ADRIAN.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, DAY

CLARA:
Yes. Sorry, of course.

CLARA and ADRIAN turn and look at the DOCTOR.

DOCTOR:
Yes, yes, no, of course, of course, yes. Don't mind this old man. You two kids just pop off together.

CLARA:
Why are you talking like an idiot?

DOCTOR:
I'm a caretaker, don't mind me.

CLARA and ADRIAN laugh uncomfortably before walking away.

ADRIAN:
What we have to get across, I feel, is that fascinating enigma of its...not-finishedness.

CLARA:
Mmm, yes, good point, Ade.

The DOCTOR watches them walk away.

DOCTOR:
Oh, Clara. (smiles knowingly and walks in the other direction)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, DAY

The DOCTOR is in a different hallway attaching something to the wire of a hanging light. He sees something scrawled on a windowpane and leans down to read it. “Ozzie loves the Squaddie.”

DOCTOR:
What does that mean? Kids. What's the matter with kids today? (wipes it away with a cloth)

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, YARD, DAY

The DOCTOR lifts a grate and places another device in a drain. Students nearby are playing with a large chess set. Someone kicks a ball at one of the pieces, knocking it over.

CLARA:
Hey, I said you could play chess, I did not say you could play football on the chessboard. Jack, Morgan, come on, help me out, clear it up.

The DOCTOR stands and whistles to himself. CLARA looks over. The DOCTOR continues whistling and walks away. DANNY appears on a balcony.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, DAY

The DOCTOR hurries to a set double red doors, one of which bears the nameplate “Caretaker”. He places another device inside a hanging plant basket.

DOCTOR:
And one for luck.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CARETAKER’S STOREROOM, DAY

In a corner amongst the shelving is the TARDIS. The DOCTOR puts down the bag that had carried the devices.

DOCTOR:
OK. Now we're in business. Let's see the lie of the land. Time to see what's going on. (turns on the sonic and enters the TARDIS)

The door to the STOREROOM opens and in walks COURTNEY.

COURTNEY:
Hello? Oi. What are you doing? Are you in there?

DOCTOR:
(from inside the TARDIS) Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the most dangerous of them all?

COURTNEY:
There's been a spillage in Geography, I need some paper towels.

DOCTOR:
(comes out of the TARDIS) Can't you read?

COURTNEY:
Course I can read. Read what?

DOCTOR:
The door. It says, "Keep Out."

COURTNEY:
No, it says, "Go Away Humans."

DOCTOR:
(looks at the sign) Oh, so it does. Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign.

COURTNEY:
What was you doing in there? What's that box?

DOCTOR:
A caretaker's box. Every caretaker has their own box.

COURTNEY:
It says, "Police".

DOCTOR:
Exactly, there's a policeman in there, in case of emergencies and children. (hands her paper towels) Towels, there, g-g-go.

COURTNEY:
What was that green glow? There was a green glow coming from in there. What was it?

DOCTOR:
Of course there was. What's a policeman without a death ray?

The school bell rings in the distance.

DOCTOR:
Oh, listen, there's the bell, off you go. Haven't you got shoplifting to do?

They walk towards the door.

COURTNEY:
I'm going to tell the Headmaster.

DOCTOR:
Oh, yes, well, fine. Cut along, you're running out of time.

COURTNEY:
(stops) For what?

DOCTOR:
Everything. Human beings have incredibly short life spans. Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic. Tick tock, tick tock.

COURTNEY:
You're weird.

DOCTOR:
Yes, I am. What about you?

COURTNEY:
I'm a disruptive influence.

DOCTOR:
Good to meet you. (shakes her hand)

COURTNEY:
And you(!)

DOCTOR:
Now get lost.

COURTNEY:
OK.

CLARA comes through the door just as COURTNEY is leaving.

COURTNEY:
Hello, miss, love to the Squaddie.

CLARA:
Sorry, what did you say? (to the DOCTOR) What was she doing in here?

DOCTOR:
Paper towels. Now, I imagine you've many questions. Fire away, I won't answer any of them.

CLARA:
What were they like?

DOCTOR:
What were who like?

CLARA:
The others before me. Did they let you get away with this kind of thing? This school is in danger.

DOCTOR:
Well, it's lucky I'm here then.

CLARA:
From you.

DOCTOR:
Me?

CLARA:
You wouldn't be here if there wasn't an alien threat nearby. Your strategy for dealing with it involves endangering this school.

DOCTOR:
You don't know that.

CLARA:
I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything, which means I wouldn't approve, which means you are endangering this school.

The DOCTOR takes the sonic(?) from his pocket and activates it, revealing a glowing green globe. Within it is a representation of alien technology.

CLARA:
What's that?

DOCTOR:
It's a scanner. I'm scanning. Why do I keep you around?

CLARA:
(stares at the globe) Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. Scanning for what?

DOCTOR:
Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up. I used to have a teacher exactly like you once.

CLARA:
(walks closer) You still do. Pay attention. What the hell is it?!

DOCTOR:
A Skovox Blitzer, one of the deadliest killing machines ever created. Probably homed in here because of artron emissions. You've had enough of them in this area over the years. There's enough explosive in its armoury to take out
the whole planet.

CLARA:
Then leave it alone.

DOCTOR:
Sooner or later it will creep from its hidey-hole and some military idiot will try to attack it. The world is full of PE teachers. (turns off the hologram)

INT. TARDIS

CLARA:
So, your insanely dangerous plan is?

The DOCTOR holds up a watch with a flourish.

CLARA:
A new watch. Tiny bit disappointed.

DOCTOR:
This is a very special watch. (puts on the watch, presses a button and disappears)

CLARA:
(looks around) Doctor? Oi! Did you just flick my nose? (touches her nose) You're invisible. (laughs) Oh, my God, that's incredible!

DOCTOR:
Correct. I am invisible and I am incredible. It's simply a matter of reversing light waves. Hang on, I'm coming back.

CLARA:
All right, where are you?

DOCTOR:
(reappears) So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff of non-threatening alien tech, I lead it back here, but I don't want it to scan me, hence invisible.

CLARA:
So you're leading the thing here? To a school? My school?

DOCTOR:
"MY school"? Oh, that is telling. This is the only suitably empty place in the area. I've set up a circle of time mines around the school. Chronodyne generators. (tosses one to CLARA) Bit unstable. I switch them on, the Blitzer gets sucked into a big old time vortex, billions of years into the future. Dead easy. Tiny bit boring. I'll need a book and a sandwich.

CLARA:
And me. (gives back the mine) You're not doing this alone.

DOCTOR:
I don't need you this time. I'll see you tomorrow. We'll go somewhere nice. Ancient Egypt. Crocodilopolis. They worship a big crocodile there, so the name is a useful coincidence. Go and canoodle with your boyfriend.

CLARA turns around and looks at him.

DOCTOR:
Come on. I wasn't born yesterday, far from it.

CLARA:
(points at him) You did recognise him.

DOCTOR:
Possibly reminded me of a certain dashing young time traveller.

CLARA:
Of course you recognised him. Sorry. Stupid. I-I underestimated you.

DOCTOR:
Easily done, there's a lot to estimate.

CLARA:
And you, you like him?

DOCTOR:
Yes, I like him. Very, very much. Go home and canoodle. Doctor's orders. Come on.

CLARA:
Just this once, I'm doing what I'm told.

DOCTOR:
Oh, sing hosanna.

CLARA:
(heads for the door with a sigh of relief) So easy.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, DAY

CLARA walks down the small alley that connects the Caretaker’s area to the main courtyard. She fiddles with her hair and looks back towards the Storeroom. She doesn’t see DANNY until he calls her.

DANNY:
Miss Oswald.

CLARA:
Ah, Mr... Mr Pink.

DANNY:
Still on for tonight? ‘Cos you had your "I'm about to cancel" frown on.

CLARA:
There's a specific frown?

DANNY:
And I was going to say, it's OK, I might have a thing, so...

CLARA:
A thing?

DANNY:
Tomorrow instead?

CLARA:
Tomorrow's parents' evening.

DANNY:
Not all evening.

CLARA:
No. Not all evening.

DANNY sees the DOCTOR exiting behind CLARA.

DANNY:
What do you think of him?

CLARA:
Er, who? The caretaker?

DANNY:
Where did he come from? What was he before? He doesn't seem like a caretaker.

CLARA:
Well, he speaks very highly of you.

DANNY doesn’t know how to respond.

DANNY:
Anyway. Good night, Miss Oswald.

CLARA:
Good night...Mr Pink.

CLARA watches as DANNY walks away.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, NIGHT

The DOCTOR walks out the main entrance, the sonic humming.

DOCTOR:
And we're off.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, NIGHT

DANNY steps out of his classroom and closes the door behind him. In the dark, he sees the flashing light of one of the DOCTOR’S devices.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, NIGHT

The DOCTOR walks down an alley and pauses to check his readings. He turns back the way he came.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, NIGHT

DANNY removes the device hidden under the fire alarm and stares at it.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

The DOCTOR walks past the building where the POLICEMAN was killed and stops. He pushes the iron gates open.

DOCTOR:
Home, sweet home. (presses the button on the watch and disappears)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CARETAKER’S STOREROOM, NIGHT

CLARA rushes into the room.

CLARA:
Canoodling cancelled, if you need a hand... (doesn’t see him) Doctor? You invisible? I am so going to confiscate that watch. (leaves)

INT. BUILDING, NIGHT

The DOCTOR searches the building for the BLITZER.

DOCTOR:
Where are you, my sleeping beauty?

The BLITZER watches from the shadows using infrared vision.

DOCTOR:
Gotcha! Let's dance!

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, NIGHT

CLARA calls for the DOCTOR as she leaves the STOREROOM.

CLARA:
Doctor? Where are you?

Behind her, DANNY knocks on the door of the STOREROOM.

DANNY:
Hello?

He sees the device in the planter and takes it out.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

The invisible DOCTOR hurries back to the school as the BLITZER follows.

BLITZER:
Nine-stop-query-rescan. Target-reacquired-success-success.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, NIGHT

The DOCTOR hurries for the main entrance.

DOCTOR:
Come on, come on.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, NIGHT

The DOCTOR pushes open the doors and rushes through the corridors.

DOCTOR:
Gangway! Not far now. Come on.

BLITZER:
Nine-stop-parsing-data-pursue. (stops)

DOCTOR:
Bingo.

BLITZER:
Target-reacquired. (continues)

DANNY appears at the other end of the corridor.

DANNY:
Hello?

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, HALL, NIGHT

The DOCTOR enters the school hall, turning off the invisibility device. He then notices the device he had left is no longer blinking green.

DOCTOR:
What? Red? Red. No. No-no-no!

The BLITZER pushes through the double doors.

BLITZER:
Range-one-point-four-nine-scan complete-problem-problem.

DOCTOR:
Listen. I'm unarmed. I'm peaceful. Do you understand? I-I know that you shouldn't be on this planet but I can help you with that. I...

BLITZER:
Problem-solution-DESTROY.

DANNY enters the hall.

DANNY:
I want a word with you.

DOCTOR:
Get back!

BLITZER:
(turns towards DANNY and fires) Problem-solution-DESTROY.

DANNY dives out of the way, dropping the device that slides across the floor, stopping by the chair. The light turns green. He then stands and picks up a chair, threatening the BLITZER.

DANNY:
Get away from me!

The DOCTOR uses the sonic to open a vortex. The chair is pulled from DANNY’S hands and sucked into the vortex. He falls to the floor and tries to keep himself from being pulled in. The BLITZER also is being pulled in.

BLITZER:
Temporal-disrupt. Warning-warning. Temporal-failure.

CLARA runs in and hurries to DANNY.

CLARA:
No! No, no, no, no! Doctor, stop! Doctor!

The DOCTOR strains against the pull of the vortex.

BLITZER:
Warning-system-failure. Abort. Abort.

The BLITZER disappears into the vortex which dissipates. The three in the room fall back against the floor, drained. The DOCTOR looks over at DANNY as he gets to his feet.

DOCTOR:
(sarcastic) Oh, oh, well done, PE, brilliant work! "What's this? A chronodyne generator? I'll just deactivate that, shall I? I've got a swimming certificate so that qualifies me to meddle with higher technology. Never mind that some people are actually trying to save the planet. Oh, no. There's only room in my head for cross-country and the offside rule." (walks away)

DANNY slowly stands.

CLARA:
Danny, what are you doing here?

DANNY:
I was checking up on him. He's been up to something, fiddling with the electric, but what the...?! No. What...? Did you see that thing? Tell me you saw that thing.

CLARA:
I saw the thing, yeah. (turns to the DOCTOR) Doctor, are we safe, is the planet safe? It's gone?

DOCTOR:
Yes, yes, yes, yes, for the moment. But the thing is, you see, the chronodyne generators have to be precisely aligned to generate the vortex, but the sergeant here, he went and moved one.

CLARA:
But the chronodyne worked, it's gone.

DOCTOR:
(scans the area) But not far enough. The vortex will open here again, but not in a billion years.

CLARA:
Then when?

DOCTOR:
Er, 74 hours. Three days. Three days to think of something new because now it knows what to expect, now it's scanned me and will kill me on sight, thanks to PE here.

DANNY:
Clara, why are you talking to him like that? Why are you using words like chronodyne? Was that thing a space thing? Oh, my God, you're from space. You're a spacewoman. You said you were from Blackpool.

CLARA:
It's a play! For the summer fete.

DOCTOR:
(looks up from taking notes) It's a what?

CLARA:
We are rehearsing a play. Sh! Sh! Sh! A surprise play! Yes, it's a play. Shut up, it is a play. And, erm, you see, the vortex thing is-is a lighting effect. Very clever. And that thing is-is one of the kids. In fancy dress. Really...really good fancy dress.

DANNY:
How stupid do you think I am?

DOCTOR:
I'm willing to put a number on it.

DANNY:
I'm not a moron, Clara. And he's not the caretaker. He's...your dad. Your space dad.

DOCTOR:
Oh...genius. (stands and walks over next to CLARA) That is really, really brilliant reasoning. How can you think I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age?

CLARA:
We do not look the same age.

DOCTOR:
I was being kind. Right, I'll hypnotise him, I'll erase his memory. (takes out the sonic)

CLARA:
(stands in front of DANNY) Doctor, stop!

DOCTOR:
Tiny brain, won't take a moment.

CLARA:
He's my boyfriend.

DOCTOR:
Well, I'll try not to erase the whole thing.I'll leave the bits that...

CLARA:
He's my boyfriend. I thought you'd figured this out.

DOCTOR:
Him?

CLARA:
Yes, him.

DOCTOR:
No, he's not.

CLARA:
Yes, he is.

DANNY:
Yes, I am.

DOCTOR:
But he's a PE teacher. You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher. It's a mistake. You've made a boyfriend error.

DANNY:
I am not a PE teacher. I am a maths teacher!

DOCTOR:
You're a soldier. Why would you go out with a soldier? Why not get a dog or a big plant?

CLARA:
Because I love him!

The DOCTOR and DANNY are both stunned by her declaration.

DOCTOR:
Why would you say that? Is this part of the surprise play?

CLARA:
(sighs) There is no surprise play.

DOCTOR:
Oh, it's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it? What about the handsome one with the bow tie?

CLARA:
Adrian? No. He's just a friend and not my type.

DANNY:
Clara, are you going to explain any of this? Who is this guy?

CLARA:
The Doctor is...

DOCTOR:
Go on.

DANNY:
Yes, explain. Who is he? Why have you never mentioned him?

CLARA:
Because...he's an alien.

DANNY:
Are you an alien?

CLARA:
No-no-no, I'm still from Blackpool. Me and the Doctor, we travel through time and space.

On the stage, the DOCTOR opens the curtains to reveal the TARDIS.

DOCTOR:
Exhibit A.

CLARA:
(climbs the steps to the stage) It's called a TARDIS, but it's disguised as an old police phone box.

DOCTOR:
(whispers to CLARA) It's bigger on the inside.

CLARA:
And it's bigger on the inside than the outside.

DOCTOR:
(opens the doors) Voila.

DANNY slowly approaches the TARDIS.

CLARA:
And we travel the universe in it.

DANNY peers inside before stepping back and looking around the exterior.

DANNY:
(to the DOCTOR) What about that thing? Did you bring that here?

DOCTOR:
No, I'm going to protect you from that thing.

DANNY:
You said it was coming back.

DOCTOR:
Yes, it is coming back. Thanks to you.

DANNY:
This is a school. We have to evacuate, call the Army.

DOCTOR:
And that is the most dangerous thing right there. (closes doors) (to CLARA) Are you sure hypnotising is not on the menu?

CLARA:
Yes.

DANNY:
We need to get help. This is an emergency.

DOCTOR:
Take him away, shut him up, shut him down, up or down, it doesn't matter to me. I've got a lot of work to do. Again.

CLARA:
Will you be OK?

DOCTOR:
Why wouldn't I be OK? I was fine till you two blundered in.

DANNY:
Am I just being ignored?

CLARA:
(leads DANNY away) Come on, Danny. It's all right, it's all fine. You'll be OK. Let's get those legs moving... that's it, down those stairs. Yep, that's it. This can all be explained and everything will be fine.

DOCTOR:
And when this is all over, you can finish the job.

CLARA:
How do you mean?

DOCTOR:
Well, you've explained me to him. You haven't explained him to me.

CLARA follows after DANNY as the DOCTOR watches them go.

INT. DANNY’S FLAT, PARLOR, NIGHT

DANNY is staring out the window into the darkness.

CLARA:
What do you think? (stands beside him) Say something.

DANNY:
So...there's an alien, who used to look like Adrian. Then he turned into a Scottish caretaker and every now and then, when I'm not looking, you elope with him.

CLARA:
I don't elope.

DANNY:
Do you love him?

CLARA:
No.

DANNY:
Really had enough of the lies.

CLARA:
Not in that way.

DANNY:
What other way is there?

CLARA:
You know what I mean.

DANNY:
I don't know what you mean. I know what you tell me, which isn't always the truth.

CLARA:
Danny...

DANNY:
Why do you do it? Why do you fly off in the box with him? The truth, please, just this once.

CLARA:
Because...it's amazing. Because...I see wonders.

DANNY:
OK.

CLARA:
What are you thinking?

DANNY:
That's a good question. It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you, when you know what lies they've told you. You say you've seen wonders, you've seen amazing things, and you kept them secret. From me. So, what do you think of me, Clara?

CLARA:
Please, tell me how I fix this.

DANNY:
I just want to know who you are.

CLARA:
You know who I am.

DANNY:
When you're with him. When you're with the Doctor.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CARETAKER’S STOREROOM, DAY

CLARA closes the door behind her. DANNY is waiting for her.

CLARA:
OK, I think we've just got time before parents' evening. (gives DANNY the watch)

DANNY:
(puts on the watch) An invisibility watch? Not even a ring.

CLARA:
Press the button on the side, you're invisible. You'll see me with the Doctor, the other me. The exactly the same other me. OK?

They go inside.

INT. TARDIS

CLARA enters the TARDIS, leaving the door open for Invisible DANNY to get in before closing it. The DOCTOR is working on a device to stop the ROBOR when it returns.

DOCTOR:
Afternoon. Thanks for keeping out of my way. You've not brought Dave with you, I hope.

CLARA:
His name's Danny. And no, I haven't. I've explained it all to him. He gets it, he took it all really well.

DOCTOR:
Pass me that synestic.

CLARA:
(hands him the part) So, when the Blitzer comes back, are you going to catch him with that?

DOCTOR:
It'll be a long, fiddly job. It's going to take me at least 24 hours. Even longer if people keep talking to me, so do keep going.

CLARA:
If it comes back Thursday night, are you sure about that? ‘Cos you said chronodyne is unstable.

DOCTOR:
If you want bother someone, go and bother PE.

CLARA:
He's a maths teacher.

DOCTOR:
That's a shame, I like maths.

CLARA:
Not a soldier.

DOCTOR:
(looks around) Interesting.

CLARA:
What is?

DOCTOR:
(goes to the console) I'm bored. Let's go somewhere fun, what do you say? Do you want to see the Thames frozen over? Oh, those frost fairs.

CLARA:
You can't. The Skovox thing.

DOCTOR:
It's a time machine. We can get back straightaway, like we always do on your dates. Just make sure you don't get yourself a tan or anything, or lose a limb.

CLARA:
I don't think we should, not this time.

DOCTOR:
You've never said no before. Not even in the middle of dinner. Remember you had to eat two meals in a row?

CLARA:
I just think, with the school in danger...

DANNY becomes visible behind the DOCTOR.

CLARA:
Danny! Why are you...?

DANNY:
He already knows I'm here. That's why he's talking like that. He's being clever.

DOCTOR:
Now you mention it, being a Time Lord, I can feel a light-shield aura when it's right next to me.

DANNY:
"Time Lord"! Might have known.

DOCTOR:
Might have known WHAT? (faces DANNY)

DANNY:
The accent's good, but you can always spot the aristocracy. It's in the...attitude.

CLARA:
Danny...

DANNY:
Now, Time Lords, do you salute those?

DOCTOR:
Definitely not.

DANNY:
(salutes) Sir!

DOCTOR:
And you do not call me sir.

DANNY:
(parade-ground voice) As you wish, sir. Absolutely, sir.

DOCTOR:
And you can get out of my TARDIS!

DANNY:
Immediately, sir.

The DOCTOR and DANNY both head for the door.

CLARA:
Doctor, this is stupid, this is unfair!

DANNY:
(stops and turns to CLARA) One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier, guilty as charged. You see him? He's an officer.

DOCTOR:
I am not an officer!

DANNY:
I'm the one who carries you out of the fire. He's the one who lights it.

DOCTOR:
Out. Now.

DANNY:
Right away, sir? Straight now?

DOCTOR:
Yes.

DANNY:
Am I dismissed?

DOCTOR:
(shouts) Yes, you are!

DANNY:
That's him. Look at him, right now. That's who he is. (leaves)

DOCTOR:
On balance, I think that went quite well.

CLARA just looks at him and walks out after DANNY.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CARETAKER’S STOREROOM, DAY

CLARA hurries through the room after DANNY.

CLARA:
Danny...it's not time to go home yet. It's parents' evening.

Steps out of the TARDIS after CLARA leaves the workroom.

DOCTOR:
Humans. I never learn.

COURTNEY:
What's in the box? It's not really a policeman, is it?

The DOCTOR does a double-take between COURTNEY and the TARDIS.

DOCTOR:
You want to know what's in that box? I'll tell you what's in that box. (shows COURTNEY the inside of the TARDIS) It's a time machine, it also travels in space, and it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work of preventing the end of the world, but keeps being interrupted by boring little humans.

COURTNEY:
Cool. So, that's really a spaceship?

COURTNEY starts to enter the TARDIS but the DOCTOR pulls her back by her collar.

DOCTOR:
I'm serious, I'm trying to save this planet.

COURTNEY:
End of the world for me tonight, whatever you do. Parents' evening.

DOCTOR:
Is your name really Disruptive Influence?

COURTNEY:
Courtney Woods. Can I go in space?

DOCTOR:
I'll let you know. I may have a vacancy. (pushes COURTNEY towards the door) But not right now.

COURTNEY leaves.

DOCTOR:
Two days? I can do it. (goes back into the TARDIS)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, GYM, DAY

The staff is preparing for Parents’ Night.

HEADMASTER:
Right, are we quorate? Time to admit the hordes. And look who's at the front of the queue.

CLARA, DANNY and ADRIAN line up in front of the doors.

ADRIAN:
Who are they?

CLARA:
Courtney Woods' mum and dad.

ADRIAN:
Can someone else do them first?

DANNY:
No problem, Ade. I can cope with anything tonight.

HEADMASTER:
Oh, happy days(!) (opens the doors)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, HALL, DAY

The portal opens with a bright glow and a chair comes flying out of it.

INT. TARDIS

The DOCTOR uses a push-button phone connected to his device. He then picks up a box of miscellaneous pieces and starts to leave. The device beeps. He stops and hurries back to the device.

DOCTOR:
No, no, no. No, no, no, no! (picks up device and leaves)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, GYM, DAY

DANNY is talking with COURTNEY’S parents.

DANNY:
I would say yes, I'm afraid Courtney is a disruptive influence.

MR WOODS:
Yeah, but last year you said she was a VERY disruptive influence.

MRS WOODS:
So, I suppose that counts as an improvement.

DANNY sees the DOCTOR at the door and clears his throat. CLARA looks at him and he nods towards the door. The DOCTOR motions for them to come out.

DANNY:
Excuse me, I think the caretaker wants me.

CLARA:
Sorry, Mrs Christodolou, I think the caretaker wants me too.

MRS CHRISTODOLOU:
(stands) What about my Angelina?

CLARA:
Yeah, she's great, yeah, a really great girl, A-plus, ten out of ten, top of the class. Sorry. (rushes for the door then stops) Although, actually, handwriting could be better. (leaves)

HEADMASTER:
I'm sure they'll be back in a moment.

MRS WOODS:
Looks like our Courtney was right about those two.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, YARD, DAY

The DOCTOR stops once outside the doors.

CLARA:
What's happening?

DOCTOR:
Clara, the vortex is opening.

DANNY:
You said Thursday night. Hall, quick.

DOCTOR:
PE, shut up. Clara, it'll scan the area, if it gets to parents' evening, it'll kill them all.

DANNY:
We've got to evacuate.

DOCTOR:
SHUT UP!

CLARA:
Quickly. What do I do?

DOCTOR:
It'll be here any second. (gives her the sonic) Get to the hall. Give it some squirts of helicon energy, setting number 41, no more than three seconds each, random pulses. Distract it, then you lead it away from the hall, give me two minutes.

CLARA:
Then what?

DOCTOR:
Just run straight to the TARDIS.

DANNY:
But your gadget isn't ready yet. 24 hours, you said.

DOCTOR:
Yes, well, I've revised that down to two minutes. Probably. Clara, go.

CLARA:
On my way. (leaves)

DANNY:
You're using her like a decoy?

DOCTOR:
No, not like a decoy. As a decoy. Don't they teach you anything at stupid school?

DANNY:
Well, is there anything I can do?

DOCTOR:
Yes, yes, and this is very, very important. Leave us alone! (runs off)

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, HALL, DAY

CLARA arrives in time to see the BLITZER arrive through the portal.

BLITZER:
Disrupt-temporal-lock. Disengaged-scan.

CLARA:
Here we go.

CLARA uses the sonic and gets the BLITZER’S attention.

BLITZER:
Incoming-stop-identified-HELICON-HELICON-commence-retargeting.

CLARA runs and is followed by the BLITZER.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CORRIDOR, NIGHT

DANNY is walking down the hall when he sees CLARA running down a perpendicular hall chased by the BLITZER.

BLITZER:
Target-acquired. Destroy.

DANNY follows.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, YARD, DAY

CLARA continues to lead the BLITZER away.

BLITZER:
Target-within-range.

EXT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CARETAKER’S STOREROOM, DAY

CLARA runs into the STOREROOM.

BLITZER:
Problem-solution-DESTROY.

INT. COAL HILL SCHOOL, CARETAKER’S STOREROOM, DAY

The BLITZER blows the doors and enters the STOREROOM.

BLITZER:
DESTROY.

CLARA:
Doctor, now, it's got to be now!

DOCTOR:
20 seconds.

BLITZER:
DESTROY. DESTROY.

CLARA:
Doctor!

The BLITZER fires at CLARA as she dives for cover. She reaches the DOCTOR and helps him put the gadget on his back like a knapsack.

DOCTOR:
I'm at green, I'm at green.

CLARA:
You're green!

DOCTOR:
(into microphone) Stop! Skovox Blitzer!

BLITZER:
(halts) Awaiting-orders.

DOCTOR:
Skovox-Artificer. Analyse-stop-analyse-stop.

BLITZER:
Superior-recognised-pattern-110-orders-orders.

CLARA:
Why's it listening to you?

DOCTOR:
Listening to its superior. This is a rough copy. It thinks I'm its general. (to BLITZER) Initiate-input. Commence-shutdown-protocol. No-conflict-conclusion?

BLITZER:
Problem-solution.

DOCTOR:
Conclusion.

BLITZER:
Final-input-code-missing. (eyes turn red) Emergency-terminate. Initiate-self-destruct-in...nine...eight...

DOCTOR:
The input code. I forgot the final input code.

BLITZER:
…seven-six-five...

CLARA:
Do it now!

DOCTOR:
(works frantically at keyboard) I need time. Distract it, Clara!

CLARA:
Me, what can I do?

DANNY:
Oi, Skovox, over here.

BLITZER:
Under-attack.

DANNY runs and somersaults over the BLITZER as it fires. It gives the DOCTOR enough distraction to get the code.

DOCTOR:
Artificer-Artificer-stop-confirm-stop-override-final-input-code.

BLITZER:
Code-accepted. Abort-self-destruct. Orders-accepted-stop-stop-stop.

The BLITZER’S slows and stops and the light in the eyes goes off.

CLARA:
(jumps up and hugs DANNY around the neck) Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you were amazing! Oh, my God, you were so brilliant.

DANNY:
Well, yeah, I was OK, wasn't I? I was behind you every step of the way. Had to make sure you were safe. (to the DOCTOR) You OK? (holds out watch)

DOCTOR:
(takes watch) OK.

CLARA:
Just "OK"?

DANNY:
It's all right, it doesn't matter. I don't need him to like me. It doesn't matter if he likes me or hates me. I just need to do exactly one thing for you. Doctor, am I right?

DOCTOR:
Yes.

CLARA:
What? What one thing?

DANNY:
I need to be good enough for you. That's why he's angry. Just in case I'm not.

The DOCTOR turns away.

CLARA:
He, er... He did just save the whole world.

DOCTOR:
(looking at BLITZER) Yeah, yeah. Good start.

CLARA smiles.

SPACE

The DOCTOR stands in the open doors of the TARDIS watching the BLITZER float away. COURTNEY is with him.

DOCTOR:
Farewell, Skovox Blitzer. Have a nice war. So, Courtney Woods, impressed yet?

COURTNEY:
(clinging to the side of the door) Actually, I'm feeling a bit ill.

DOCTOR:
Ah, it can be a bit overwhelming. (bends down and points) But look - the Olveron Cluster. A million stars, 100 million inhabited planets.

COURTNEY runs off to be sick.

DOCTOR:
Ah, yes, there has been a spillage. (closes the doors)

INT. DANNY’S FLAT, PARLOR, NIGHT

DANNY and CLARA are cuddled together on the couch.

CLARA:
So, what do you think now?

DANNY:
Of the Doctor?

CLARA:
Yeah. See, he's all right, isn't he, really? Underneath it all. OK. (turns off music and looks him in the face) Tell me what you're thinking.

DANNY:
I know men like him. I've served under them. They push you and make you stronger, till you're doing things you never thought you could. I saw you tonight, you did exactly what he told you. You weren't even scared. And you should have been.

CLARA:
I trust him. He has never let me down.

DANNY:
Fine. (sits up) If he ever pushes you too far, then I want you to tell me, because I know what that's like. You'll tell me if that happens, yeah?

CLARA:
Yeah, it's a deal.

DANNY:
No. It's a promise.

CLARA:
OK. I promise.

DANNY:
If you break that promise, Clara, we're finished.

CLARA:
Don't say that.

DANNY:
I am saying it because if you if you don't tell me the truth, I can't help you, and I could never stand not being able to help you. Are we clear?

CLARA:
Yes. We're clear.

They go back to lying on the couch as they were. CLARA has a pensive look on her face.

????

In a stark white office, the POLICEMAN who was killed is talking to a MAN in a suit as they sit on opposite sides of a desk.

POLICEMAN:
It was mad, it was like in a film or on the telly, like with science fiction guns.

MAN:
Skovox Blitzer, sounds like. We've had a few in from that. Wouldn't feel too bad.

POLICEMAN:
If I hadn't... If I hadn't... Hang on. That doesn't make sense.

MAN:
Makes perfect sense to me.

POLICEMAN:
How did I escape? I don't remember how I got away.

MAN:
Well, I was coming to that. I'm afraid you really rather didn't.

POLICEMAN:
Then how did I get here?

MAN:
Well...big question.

POLICEMAN:
(stands and looks around)Where am I?

MAN:
What name would you like? There's a range. The Afterlife. The Promised Land. I'm partial to the Nethersphere.

POLICEMAN:
(looks through window blinds) My God!

The MAN stands beside him. Footsteps approach and they turn to see the WOMAN from earlier episodes who looks like a nanny from the 1900s.

MAN:
Sorry, she's a bit busy today. So...any questions?